The Meaning of Life
by Teliamac
Summary: A sort of CATS meets the Beatles' 'Hard Day's Night' thing with Misto


*Disclaimer- I obviously own nothing of this fic. Names and other such mentioned aspects are the property of RUG, ALW, TSE.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Meaning of Life  
  
Mistoffelees stretched, just waking up from his long, slightly fitfull rest, when a sudden sharp pain jolted him wide awake, coursing up his tail and taking over his entire body. He jumped, letting out a high pitched "mrrow!", and the pain disappeared as quickly as it had come. His damned human's little girl had stepped on him yet again.  
  
Misto had been sleeping curled up in the hall for a few hours, dreaming dreams of the past. He had been a lot happier, a lot less confused back then. But those days ended abruptly on that one fateful night- the night he magically brought back Old Deuteronomy after Macavity cat-napped him in the middle of the Jellicle Ball.  
  
Sitting up and nursing his wound -or rather, his wounded pride- he wondered what he would do that night. *I suppose I'll pay a visit to the junkyard.* He had been spending a bit less time there, not going every day as he used to. There had been a time when he could always have a chance to be alone, but not anymore. He had become something of a celebrity, the popular one. The Magical Mr. Mistoffelees. "The Original Conjuring Cat," as Rum Tum Tugger had so well put it. Tricks were often requested, and he didn't mind obliging. It's not that he didn't like the attention and respect he had gained, he was just still a little too shy to handle it all.  
  
Standing, Misto wandered over to his dish, which usually held a bit of milk or cream, but found it empty. It didn't matter. "I'll find something on my way," he told himself. "If not, I'm sure they'll have something for me when I get there."  
  
*******  
  
Upon arriving, Misto realized that going to the junkyard may not have been such a great idea. Everyone was there, and responded to the famous cat's entrance right away. This was new. Before, it had always taken a few minutes until the small black tom was noticed by anyone, sans Tantomile and Coricopat, who knew everything.  
  
The kittens automatically flocked to Misto, with the exception of Etcetera, who was asleep in the arms of Rum Tum Tugger. It was a complete mystery to everyone how their sudden mad love had seemed to drop straight out of the Heaviside Layer. Victoria also held back; she knew that her brother was unhappy with all the attention, and anyway, the swell of her belly was more than enough to keep her movement limited. Just abover her, on the tire, Plato stood guard over his very pregnant mate.  
  
Requests for tricks came flying at poor Misto within seconds. He could barely tell what any of the kits were saying. Looking up, he noticed Munkustrap signaling him over to the trunk of the old car. Happy to escape the masses, Misto carefully pushed his way through and approached Munkustrap. The older tom was something like Mistoffelees' idol; no matter what crisis or other difficulty faced him, Munkustrap always handled it with calm perfection.  
  
"Mistoffelees. It's been awhile, Hasn't it?" The gray tabby looked at Misto, smiling.  
  
"I suppose it has."  
  
"The reason I wanted to talk to you is. . .well, wait. Misto, how are you?" It wasn't like Munkustrap to change the subject like that. He looked concerned.  
  
"Wh- what do you mean?" Misto stammered. "I- I'm fine."  
  
He was lying. Munkustrap knew this, but he also knew that if Misto would lie to him about anything, he surely wouldn't want to talk. So Munku ignored it and went back to what he was originally going to say.  
  
"Okay then. Anyway, I was about to tell you that Old Deuteronomy has requested a special. . . session. A magic show, so to speak. He knows that everyone has been wanting to see your tricks, and thought that-"  
  
"A magic show?! Why would he ask that of me? I'm not ready, I can't- I'm not even that good. I know you all think I am, but I'm not. . .not usually." Misto hoped his fear didn't show in his voice. He was terrified, too shy to do anything like that. It wasn't in his nature.  
  
"You're very modest. You brought back the Jellicle leader; don't tell me that's not good. And I'm sorry, but you can't very well turn him down. I can limit the size of the audience, if you wish."  
  
"Well, since I have to do it. . . fine. You don't have to limit anything. That wouldn't be fair. When does he want me?" It was obvious that Mistoffelees was very unhappy about this. But he was willing to do what he had to do.  
  
"He says the next time he's here. . .you'll have to constantly be ready. Nobody ever knows just when he might appear. Except Coricopat and Tantomile. You could ask them-"  
  
Mistoffelees stopped listening. He knew that Munkustrap kept talking for quite awhile, but didn't know what he said. He was distracted by a large silver floor lamp that was dancing just behind Munku's right shoulder.  
  
"-so whatever you want to do should be fine. Now, when I- OW!" The lamp stopped dancing and bopped Munkustrap on the back of his head. Then, the lamp was replaced by the giggling faces of Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer.  
  
"We go' ya there, eh Munk?" Mungojerrie chortled.  
  
"Yeah, we go' 'im good, Oi'd say. Sorry t' in'errupt, but we've go' a question fo' ya, Strappy." Rumpelteazer was her usual happy self, dangling from her mate's side; she was still clutching the lamp in her paw.  
  
Misto nodded goodbye and headed off toward Tugger and Etcy, who were now awake, soaking up some vitamin D.  
  
"Hey Misto. What'd Munk want now?" Tugger laughed. "He's not begging for tricks like those damn kittens, is he?"  
  
Etcetera proded him in the ribs. "Careful. Those damn kittens are my friends."  
  
"What're ya gonna do? Beat me up?" Tugger was being sickeningly sweet as he nuzzled the nape of Etcetera's neck. Misto was kind of disgusted. It was still odd to see the change in the once sexy, flirtatious tom.  
  
"You know I could kick your ass." That was very unlike Etcetera as well.  
  
"Right. So Misto, what'd Munkustrap want?" Tugger turned his attention back to the smaller tom, who had begun to retreat.  
  
"Oh, um. . .Old Deuteronomy wants me to do a show."  
  
"Really? Right on. When?" Tugger's enthusiasm was very. . .shocking, to say the least.  
  
"Next time he comes. I don't really want to do it. . ."  
  
"You have to do it. Does everyone know?" Tugger stood up, yelling at the top of his lungs. "HEY EVERYBODY! MISTO'S GONNA DO A SHOW!"  
  
"What are you doing!?" Misto yelped, but it was too late. Everyone in the junkyard had heard, and swarmed in Misto's direction.  
  
"When?"  
  
"How come?"  
  
"What tricks will ya do?"  
  
The questions were flying. Misto managed to answer a few, but he was nervous. If cats could sweat, he would've. He was horrified and felt very claustraphobic. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to get out, he had to leave, run away. . .run away. . .run away. . .  
  
Thoughts were flooding his head. He needed to get out. . .  
  
Suddenly, a mixture of fear and rage and overwhelming stress overcame Misto's body and mind. He took a great leap, sailing over everyone. Landing, he quickly scampered away, mumbling as he went.  
  
"Where's 'e goin'?" Rumpelteazer asked no one in particular. She was still holding the lamp.  
  
"Oi don' know. Maybe Oi should go after 'im. . ." Mungo answered, staring in the direction of Misto's departure.  
  
"No, Jerrie. Let him be. He'll come back in his own time. I hope." Munkustrap was worried. He knew something was bothering Misto, but never thought that it would lead to this.  
  
*******  
  
Once he was out of the junkyard, Misto stopped running. He meant to keep going, but for some reason he just stopped. He didn't know what he was doing, just knew he had to go. He would return eventually. He simply needed time to himself.  
  
Misto started wandering. He walked up and down the streets and alleys. He passed behind pubs, hearing many a drunk man laugh at his own pathetic jokes. It was just after one o'clock, yet those damn lazy humans had nothing better to do than join their equally lazy friends in a contest to see who could get hammered first.  
  
Quickly growing tired of the pubs, and of the city in general, Misto decided that he would find a more peaceful spot for self-discovery. If that was indeed his goal. He still wasn't sure what he was doing. He knew that the park would be quiet, so he went there.  
  
The park was just as he had expected- quiet and empty. People had time during the day to go drinking, but not to simply find a spot in the beautiful, silent park ad just be there. Just to think. "No one really comes here at all anymore," Misto realized, talking to himself. "I haven't even been here for awhile. Well, I'm here now."  
  
*******  
  
Back at the junkyard, There were mixed feelings about Mistoffelees' sudden departure.  
  
"There must be something horribly wrong! But why wouldn't he come talk to me? It can't be good. Cool it, Cori. " Munkustrap was in somewhat of a frenzy, as Coricopat tugged on his arm.  
  
"Relax. He needed some time off. He'll be back." Tugger wasn't nearly as frightened.  
  
"Well, it sounds like we have some sort of situation here." A deep, old voice chimed in.  
  
"Old Deuteronomy!" Munku's eyes grew wide with suprise and horror.  
  
"We tried to tell you he was coming." Tantomile and Coricopat spoke in perfect unison. "You were too distracted to hear us."  
  
"What seems to be the problem, Munkustrap?" The Jellicle leader smiled, a questioning look in his eyes.  
  
"W-well, M-Mistoffelees has. . .uh. . ."  
  
"'E's gone ya leadaship, sir. Isn' tha' right, Teaza?" Mungojerrie spoke for Munkustrap.  
  
"'At's right. Run away, outa th' junkya'd. Looked a triffle confused, 'e did."  
  
"He'll be back."  
  
"But sir, he-"  
  
"He'll be back. Give him some time. He needs it." Old Deuteronomy smiled at Munkustrap again. "You worry too much."  
  
*******  
  
Mistoffelees had been in the park for nearly an hour. He was lying underneath a bench, contemplating his purpose in life, feeling kind of down because he couldn't figure out what it was. Suddenly, there was a rustle in the tree above him. He rose quickly, hitting his head on the bench.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
Someone giggled. It had come from the tree. . .or, someone in the tree. Next thing Misto knew, a smallish brown cat had jumped from the tree onto the bench above him.  
  
"Hi!" The strange cat rang out. "I'm Hisella. Who are you?" She was very upbeat.  
  
"I'm-" Misto paused. Should he tell her his real name? Had she heard of him? If she had, what would she do? Well, there was no sense in lying. "I'm Mistoffelees. Misto."  
  
"Cool name! Nice to meet ya." Hisella smiled. She reminded Misto a little of Etcetera. But Hisella wasn't a kitten. She was Misto's age- like a teenage cat. She was pretty; her fur was long-ish, mostly brown with a white patch on her chest and another over her right eye, and black on the tips of her ears and tail. Her left eye was pale yellow, her right pale blue.  
  
"So what's up, Misto? You look kinda sad. Or something. And don't tell me you're fine. I know. I have a- sort of a sense about these things, I guess."  
  
"A kitten after my own heart." Mistoffelees mumbled to himself.  
  
"Wha'd ya say? Ya said something- er. . .sorry. I don't mean to pry. . .If ya didn't want me to hear. . .I'm sorry. I'm just happy to finally- wait. I can't- you haven't- er. . ."  
  
"Woah. Hold on. . .is something wrong? You sound. . .I don't know. Never mind. I've got to go." Misto started walking away. *What was that, you idiot?*  
  
He never usually thought twice about cats he'd never met before. But this one *what was her name?* had gotten his attention. Maybe it was because *Hisella. That was it.* they were both in a bad way. *Why won't she come after me? Why do I even want her to?* Misto turned around and realized that he hadn't gone anywhere. He'd pretty much just turned around, walked a couple of steps, and stood there. Hisella was looking at him.  
  
"Ya wanna talk? 'Cause I kinda do. I mean, I know we both have our own problems. . .I just like to talk about things. Can ya tell?" She smiled, and Misto noticed the way it kind of lit up her face.  
  
"Well, I don't usually, but. . ." he couldn't see the harm in talking. "yeah, sure."  
  
"Well, for starters- you probably think I'm happy and all that, and I am, sure, but- I don't have a home or a family or. . .anything." Misto blinked at her, saying nothing. "Wow, I guess that was a little unexpected. Sorry."  
  
"No, no. Keep going. What happened? I mean, why don't you have . . .anything?" Mistoffelees wondered if maybe he was better off than he thought.  
  
"Well, when I was born, my brother and sister and I were all separated. I was sent to a house in the country. It was phantasmagoric-"  
  
"Is that even a word?"  
  
"Yeah, it means fantastic. The people whose porch I live under are English majors. Anyway, I lived in the country, but the people eventually had to move. the guy was transfered to the city or something. They left me behind. 'Can't have pets in the city,' he said. So they just left me there. I eventually learned to fend for myself, and I ended up- just by chance- here. I've had two or three different houses; little kids would bring me in and feed me, but their mothers would never let me stay. So now I either stay here in the park or under a porch about three blocks south of here."  
  
"Woah."  
  
"So what about you? What's your story? Abandoned?"  
  
Misto couldn't tell her. He didn't even have a problem, compared to Hisella. But she did ask, and he didn't want to lie. . .  
  
"C'mon, c'mon. I told you- or. . .is it really bad? I'm sorry. Geez, what's wrong with me? I blame you for this." She poked him lightly in the ribs. Misto blushed. . .or would've, if cats could.  
  
"Well, actually. . .there's nothing. It's really nothing. I thought so, but I-" He felt like a moron. *What ever gave me the idea that I had a problem?* "I was wrong. Horribly wrong."  
  
"So, you're saying it's. . .not as bad as you thought? Lemme guess. My story is so tragic, you feel like a doofus for ever thinking you had it rough." Her tone and attitude had changed from that of a hyperactive, goofy kitten to a sensitive, caring, gentle-  
  
"Oh geez!" Misto exclaimed suddenly, out loud. *What's up with me?*  
  
"What? Am I right?" Hisella smiled even bigger. "I am, aren't I?"  
  
"Yeah, exactly."  
  
"Well, tell me anyway. I'm curious. I won't be mean. Promise."  
  
"Well. . .  
  
*******  
  
Munkustrap still hadn't settled down. Misto was like a little brother to him, and he was worried about his safety. Old Deuteronomy tried to keep him calm while everyone else went about their regular activities.  
  
Bombalurina was talking to Demeter, who was worried about Munku. Though they weren't technically mates- yet -, they had that kind of special relationship-thing happening.  
  
"He'll calm down. When Misto gets back, everything will be fine. He may get a bit angry, but-"  
  
"Augh! I wish he'd just come back. Do you think he even realizes what affect his absence is having on us all?" Demeter was being her usual paranoind self.  
  
"Dem, you're overreacting. Everyone's fine except you and Munk." The red queen was right. There was barely any reaction when Misto bolted out of the joint, and what little of a commotion there was died down when Old Deuteronomy showed up and reassured them all that it was fine.  
  
*******  
  
Misto told Hisella his entire story, while she nodded and smiled *Humour the insane* through it all. She waited to speak until he was finished.  
  
"I understand how that would have that affect. You know what you need to do, don't you?"  
  
"Not really, no."  
  
"Tell them. Go back to that junkyard and be honest."  
  
No kidding. Misto thought of doing that several times through the course of the day. The idea freaked the hell out of him. But maybe. . .  
  
"What- what would I say? How would I start?"  
  
"Practice on me. Just tell them how you feel, and be yourself. But let's walk. I'm tired of sitting. We DO have practically the entire park to ourselves." She stood.  
  
"Yeah, 'cause humans would rather get sauced and act stupid. Leave it to them to make fools out of the entire animal kingdom." He rose, also.  
  
Hisella laughed. "I know. And leave it to the little kids to do the dumbest things!"  
  
"This morning one of them stepped on me. They do it all the time."  
  
"And they think we actually like being carried around by our necks!"  
  
"Yeah! What's with that?" They were both choking on their laughter. "And- and-" Misto gasped for breath. "And they can't even tell what gender you are!"  
  
"I've been named Georgie, Penny, and Tom!" Hisella was practically rolling on the ground.  
  
"They used to call me Samantha! How ridiculous is that?"  
  
"They think of the worst names!""  
  
"Yeah! Like Fluffy and Kitty! And Rover and Fred!"  
  
"But Pollicles deserve bad names."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
This went on for nearly an hour and a half. When they finally finished riddiculing humans, the two young cats found themselves both on the ground gasping for breath, Misto resting his head on Hisella's belly.  
  
"I haven't laughed that hard in ages." Hisella sighed.  
  
"I don't think I ever have."  
  
"You're kidding."  
  
"Nope. Well, maybe, but I can't remember. The kittens back home are hilarious. ." He sat up. Home? He'd never said that about the junkyard before. He never knew he felt that way.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Misto looked into her mismatched eyes. There was something about those eyes. . . he looked away. "I don't know-" He looked at her again, one yellow and one blue eye staring back at him, curious. "but- I think- you should- we could-"  
  
"We could. . .?" Hisella sat up.  
  
Misto became nervous. "I don't know. Where should we sleep tonight? It's getting dark."  
  
"I guess here. . ." There was disappointment in her voice.  
  
"'Kay." So they curled up together under the bench, each one's body heat keeping the other warm.  
  
*******  
  
"It's late and he's still not back. . ."  
  
"Munk, darling, maybe he just went home. Calm down- I have." Demeter was trying to sleep, but Munkustrap kept fretting.  
  
"She's roigh', Strappy. Calm down b'fore Oi bop ya wit' the lamp again." Rumpelteazer yawned, Curled up with a sleeping Mungojerrie and the silver floor lamp.  
  
Munku grumbled. "Sorry. Excuse me for being a little anxious."  
  
"Shhhh!" Several voices rang out from the darkness.  
  
"There's cats out here trying to get a little beauty rest." Tugger's voice added from somewhere near the stove.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Why didn't any of you go home to sleep?"  
  
"Same reason as you, I s'pose, Yappy. Now be quiet."  
  
"Don't call me yappy."  
  
"How's Strappy fo' ya then, matey?"  
  
"Teaza! Shh!"  
  
And then it was silent.  
  
*******  
  
The next morning, Misto awoke looking into the eyes of Hisella.  
  
"Mornin'."  
  
"How long have you been watching me?"  
  
"Awhile. So what are we gonna do today?"  
  
"Dunno. . ." Misto had been dreaming again. But this time it had been not of the past, but the future. He was back at the junkyard, and Hisella was there too. There were kittens everywhere- some were Victoria and Plato's, but the rest were. . .his!? Yes. His. And Hisella's. Thinking about it, Misto realized that it was kinda cool. Him and Hisella. He could definately live with that.  
  
"Whatcha thinkin'?"  
  
"I miss everyone." That wasn't what he had been thinking, but he realized it was true.  
  
"So. . .are ya gonna go back?" She looked sad.  
  
"Only if you come with me."  
  
*******  
  
When they reached the junkyard's entrance, Mistoffelees stopped. "Uh. . .I'm not sure how this is gonna go."  
  
"Just go in. I'll be right here with you." Hisella rubbed her head gently against Misto's, causing him to relax a great deal.  
  
"Okay, come in, but hide for a little bit. I need to talk to them first."  
  
"Whatever you say."  
  
They entered, and Hisella held back. Misto walked to the center of the clearing and sat, looking at Munkustrap.  
  
"Mistoffelees!" Pouncival was the first to spot him. Misto turned, only to be flattened by the eager kitten.  
  
"Misto!" Munkustrap was next. "I was worried sick."  
  
"You sound like my mom. Or my dad." Misto spoke quietly, solemnly, looking up at Munkustrap.  
  
"You never knew your dad."  
  
"Which is why I blame him for everything. Listen-"  
  
"Very funny."  
  
"Can't a guy lighten the mood? Anyways, listen. Yesterday I left for a reason. I was- you- I couldn't handle all the pressure."  
  
"Pressure?" Munkustrap looked confused, followed by a look of understanding. The other cats were gathered in a circle around him and Misto, listening.  
  
"Yeah. I mean, ever since that one night, I've been getting so much attention. Too much. It's not that I don't like it, but- I'm just not used to that sort of thing. Being the center of attention is okay once in awhile, but. . .you know."  
  
Everyone seemed to get in now. Munkustrap smiled. "It's good to finally know this. Why didn't you just tell me before?"  
  
"I was shy. Scared. I needed a little help. Which brings me to- I have some news. I'd like you to meet someone. He made his way through the group over to where Hisella was standing.  
  
"Hi. I'm Hisella." Misto looped his arm through hers.  
  
"She doesn't have anyone, and I was thinking maybe she could join the tribe. She really helped me and-"  
  
"Of course she can. Welcome, Hisella." Old Deuteronomy grinned his wise, understanding grin, and took her paw in his. All the other Jellicles followed suit.  
  
"You were sayin' Misto?" Tugger looked his way.  
  
"Well, she really helped me. . .find myself. I'm a lot happier now and all that, and- erm-"  
  
"He loves me." Hisella smiled, looking at Mistoffelees, who nodded.  
  
"Why didn' ya jus' say so, ya nut?" And Rumpelteazer bopped him with the lamp. 


End file.
